Downfall of Man.

Downfall of Man

Okay I have figured out one of the most devastating forces known to man.

No it is not Hitler’s son

Nor is it the atomic bomb

Nor is it even Usher

And no it is not Korea

It is Sluts.

Now while they seem harmless at first, they are a force to be reckon with, they are like puss in boots from shrek, seemingly harmless at first but when you get near them its off with your penis. (in one instance it’s a crazy std and the other is a sword hacking it) these people are so devastating that they should be rocketed off into space purifying the planet as best as we can.

So two nights ago I went on a pub crawl with evan, dean, frank and some other peeps... mostly girls with boyfriends. So whatever, anyway the third place we stop at is no other than overdrive! Overdrive had the perfect formula for me to hate a bar:

1. Tim Neufeld was there, and was as always being a fucking tard (he had three breezers and was bragging about how much he had to drink… and talking about putting jet fuel into his integra... and he wasn’t joking, he was serious)

2. Tim Neufeld was there

2. Shitty shitty music

3. expensive drinks

4. Tim Neufeld

5. Sluts

Okay all of you are probably sitting at the 5th point thinkign to yourself WHAT THE FUCK DUNCAN?!? SLUTS ARE AWESOME!

And normally I’d agree with you except for one thing. Sluts are shunned by normal and interesting girls, and they (sluts) are feared and hated and are to be scorned by these normal girls at every moment.

If you get with a slut you are fucked not only because of the std you contracted from her but the fact that you will never be able to get with an actually cool or interesting girl after the slut. And girls have ways of finding out, they were born with the gift of smelling slut on you, it doesn’t matter if you burned your skin off she’ll still find out.

So anyway the night started off with evan saying why aren’t you drinking? I said

Me: “I’m going to take it easy tonight and not get too drunk.”
Evan: If I’m driving you’re getting shitfaced.
Frank: lets go get shots! yay!

So needless to say 3 bars later and I was hammered. When we got to slut central aka overdrive I was so drunk that it was comical and I didn’t care where I was.

The funny thing when you’re drunk is you never listen to your best friend… EVER! Never ever! You just can’t do it doesn’t matter how much sense he is making he could be saying

“dude don’t put your hand in that deep fryer”

and you would say

“pfft as if you know what you’re talking about, it’ll be fine”

and so the story goes, you are incapable of making the correct choice when you’re drunk, when you’re drunk everything seems like a good idea. Your brain is inactive along with you’re conscience… everything in your body agrees to do whatever it is that you initially thought about doing.




so I’ve decided that I should make a band to wear around my face, wrist and then tattoo it to my chest saying

“if your buddy thinks it’s a bad idea and he’s sober don’t do it.”

Or better yet

“What Would Sober You Do?”

WWSYD

If you think she’s hot and your bud says she’s a dog, chances are she’s a dog. And vice versa for girls in similar situations.

back to the story nothing major happened to me, but I did realize that I did get ridiculed a lot by the normal girls on my pub crawl after talking to a slut. Even when I was talking to the slut she said “my friends are mad because it’s supposed to be a girls night only” and I said “it shouldn’t matter I’m not taking you home” and she laughed, it was funny because it was a snide and rude comment I made and she thought it was funny haha…. so I only talked to her. Ridiculed nonetheless.

I came to this conclusion that if you are a guy and you get with a slut and normal girls find out about this you’ve screwed your chances with a normal girl. You will be forever cursed with boring uninteresting girls going on about their tan lines or the color of lipstick they put on for that night and why they chose that color. Etc… you’re fucked.



so stay away from those whores they will ruin your life.