Wishing for Death: good thing i don't own a gun
Do you ever wish for death?
i know i do
it doesn't happen often, but it does happen
last week i wished for death.
now when i say death i don't mean the:
"nobody understands me so i'm going to slit my wrists and bleed all over my parents clean bathtub and end this agony of being misunderstood"
but i mean:
"well i just fucked up. time for me to die"
i had that feeling last week.
and i guarentee you everyone has had this feeling whether they fucked up some soccer goal or pissed their pants at school they've had that feeling. wanting death
as a guy i fuck up usually twice every 3 minutes, but i usually learn to deal with it, except when i fuck up big.
two weekends ago i went on a semi date and at the end of the night the girl asks me
if i liked sushi
logically i said yes, and proceeded to get into my car and bang my head against the steering wheel for a few minutes... i had just fucked up, she was leading on to more than the mere question of whether or not i like sushi. but it was too late. And you all know the feeling: the feeling that you are never going to forgive your brain. ever.
and you can't just not give your brain the silent treatment, your brain goes with you everywhere you go. sure you can punish it with alcohol and reruns of Friends, but it never really leaves you:
it doesn't work that way. you cna't jsut stop talking to your brain like you would if your bestfriend fucked you over. your brain fucked you over. the only logical option is to elminate the problem:
that's right
.45 slug will teach that son of a bitch a lesson. no more hating myself. no more fucking up perfect opportunities. no more second guessing yourself, and missing the most obvious signs god has ever given to you.
when it comes to women it could be a big flashing sign with the words enter here. and i would rationalize it was a coicidence.
in my fighting thing jarren says time and time again that my technique is really good, but i analyze every detail too much. and infact my brain is my own worst enemy.
it needs an off button.
damn nemisis
i know i do
it doesn't happen often, but it does happen
last week i wished for death.
now when i say death i don't mean the:
"nobody understands me so i'm going to slit my wrists and bleed all over my parents clean bathtub and end this agony of being misunderstood"
but i mean:
"well i just fucked up. time for me to die"
i had that feeling last week.
and i guarentee you everyone has had this feeling whether they fucked up some soccer goal or pissed their pants at school they've had that feeling. wanting death
as a guy i fuck up usually twice every 3 minutes, but i usually learn to deal with it, except when i fuck up big.
two weekends ago i went on a semi date and at the end of the night the girl asks me
if i liked sushi
logically i said yes, and proceeded to get into my car and bang my head against the steering wheel for a few minutes... i had just fucked up, she was leading on to more than the mere question of whether or not i like sushi. but it was too late. And you all know the feeling: the feeling that you are never going to forgive your brain. ever.
and you can't just not give your brain the silent treatment, your brain goes with you everywhere you go. sure you can punish it with alcohol and reruns of Friends, but it never really leaves you:
it doesn't work that way. you cna't jsut stop talking to your brain like you would if your bestfriend fucked you over. your brain fucked you over. the only logical option is to elminate the problem:
that's right
.45 slug will teach that son of a bitch a lesson. no more hating myself. no more fucking up perfect opportunities. no more second guessing yourself, and missing the most obvious signs god has ever given to you.
when it comes to women it could be a big flashing sign with the words enter here. and i would rationalize it was a coicidence.
in my fighting thing jarren says time and time again that my technique is really good, but i analyze every detail too much. and infact my brain is my own worst enemy.
it needs an off button.
damn nemisis
posted by Doc at
10:46 PM
15 Comments:
so you don't like Sushi?
By
joe, at 12:57 AM
i love sushi. i just wasn't smooth enough to understand that she was hinting at something grander than whether or not i like raw fish and seaweed.... until after i closed the door to my car.
... i would also like to note i'm super bored but can't sleep. so i've been reading other people's blogs. even my shittiest posts are better than most people's entire years worth of blogs, most people moan on about how stressed they are, or how they ate a mushroom the day before because they wanted to try something new.... like jesus no one cares if you ate a mushroom and died from it... let alone if you merely decided mushrooms aren't for you.
fuck people are boring.
By
Doc, at 1:07 AM
I've never had sushi. If a chick asked me if I liked suchi at the end of a date I'd probably say no, then leave and not think of it again. Trust me I'm just as un smooth as you, but I try less, therefore I fail less, so in the end I appear slightly smoother.
By
Clifford, at 1:20 AM
and thus you bitch more, the end of the story went like this:
i saw her at school and asked her to go on friday she said yes, and it was a good night.
the end
By
Doc, at 11:33 AM
i still don't get how asking for sushii implies more ... or what was so bad about saying yes.
By
joe, at 12:55 PM
okay. i thought everyone has gone through this atleast once.
at the end of the night when i'm standing at my car unlocking it and herself standing by her car, she asks me if i like sushi.
she wouldn't ask me this for any other reason because i lready said "i'll see ya later".
which implies that she wants to go sometime, without actually saying "Duncan you dumb pirate bastard take me to Otari".
which means my response should have been yes we should go sometime, what is your number?
but i didn't i jsut got into my car and banged my head against the steering wheel for being a little bitch.
By
Doc, at 2:14 PM
ahhhh, i see i see.
but it appears everything worked out alright.
By
joe, at 3:48 PM
i'm beginning to wonder if that's debatable
By
Doc, at 4:04 PM
I think the funniest thing about this entire post was that you actually had to explain it to Joel.
You suck buddy.
Dave
By
Anonymous, at 9:04 PM
hey dave, you can't have my Gym
Suck on those apples
By
joe, at 2:01 AM
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
By
joe, at 2:05 AM
Can I have the gym?
By
Clifford, at 11:23 PM
Noooooo you bastard. I'm calling your dad tonight and talking to him about your rash decisions. You like playing god don't you.
Dave
By
Anonymous, at 2:42 PM
i'm betting you still won't call
By
joe, at 7:08 PM
fuck duncan, update. I'm curious. By the by, i am now a voyeur
By
joe, at 2:41 AM
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