My duty as a Proud Canadian

My duty as a Proud Canadian

Society is fucked people

there are many things wrong with the world (canada) that we live in. i could talk about how our newspapers sensationalize stonechild or a world war 2 vetern stating jews caused world war 2 and etc.. (i don't agree with the events but i think it's bullshit how it has become a media frenzy) but i won't.

there is a much more pressing issue, that affects us all

fat people

I was eating in the Arts and Science Cafteteria around 5:30 one day when i realized something:

there are alot of ridiculously overweight people in the world. now i don't mean chunky, i mean fat. and i mean huge. this is no freshman 15... unless i am missing a decimal or 3.

fatties and there are a lot of fat people in the world

60% of the North America's population is overweight and yet only 30% think they are overweight and i guarntee you out of that 30% i bet they are all skinny anoxeciate bitches that think they are fat cause they weigh 42 pounds....and i mean that's not good either. that's cause for problems

and that's the sad truth of the world someone like her



probably thinks she's a fat whale while this one:



probably thinks life is a-okay.

now i know i'm being very harsh and very cruel in my approach especially that i'm being very, very derogatory in my approach to women. but theres a reason for this, and that fact is even a decent looking guy generally thinks he's an ugly beast, let alone a fat mess of a man. they know they are ugly and they probably know that they should say no to cheezies... but they don't. but atleast they are aware that they are a beast.

girls on the otherhand they have no idea lots of them that they are abeast, and while i could only wish to have self confidence like them, i still am awed/disgusted nontheless when they try sooo hard... or convince themselves that the rolls under their armspits is their misguided six pack.

all the truly fat people out there don't even acknowledge it, they go on thinking that life is great. but i mean come on here. and i know i'm one to talk, because i've been a scrawny little bitch all my life.

when i was 5 people would ask if that pciture in my dad's wallet was of his sponsored ethipion.

"hey is that a pciture of your sponsored ehtipian?"

"uhh no thats my son"

"you know... i didn't know they had grass in ethipoia"

but see i eat healthy, i make sure i balance my diet, i never eat fast food, i drink small quantities of alcohol, i work out and run, and box once to twice a week. and i try to keep active except during this time of the year where i'm pulling out my hair i'm so stressed.

these fatties though are everywhere and when i say fat i mean when i'm sitting on the bus i will have to sit on only one ass cheek because they take up so much space. like why? why must i go through this? there is no reason.

why would you do that to yourself?

people tell me it's hireditary and that these people can't help it, well when i see them buying two bags of chips and putting 4 creams into their coffee i don't think you can blame that kind of diet on genetics. like honestly explain that to me.

or wait my favorite line is it's natural

really? natural? fuck that. big boned is natural. but when you have rolls upon rolls and i can't find your real chin that is not natural. people are not supposed to look like the blob. i don't care what your mom says about you, because that is not natural. in today's society there are few things we do that is natural. if you want natural forgo those Doritos and live off of berries and venesin. not fucking processed ice cream and etc.. don't give me that shit.

And i mean, okay, i can deal having to look at extremely fat people, i can deal with it, just wear your muu-muu and get out of my face

but then i have to go to the bar and see these fatties caress my leg as i'm waiting in line for a drink at the bar, i jsut pretend its the wind or try desperately to imagine halle berry... desperately is the key word. but it is hard to imagine halle berry owns fingers resembling marshmellows... but i have a good imination right? and besides there's nothing i can do...and really what these peopel thinking? if i were say drunk enough to imagine sleeping with them it would be impossible phsycically. i would be dead as one of her legs is bigger than the circumference of my chest... like i mean i would sufficate and seriosuly dead as a result of sleeping with that cow. the csi guys would show up and the first thing they would say is

Stylish CSI guy/girl:"ooohhhhman how'd he die?"

Stylish CSI guy/girl#2: Suffication... in the you know.. worse way pssible"

Stylish CSI guy/girl: that guy better have 3.8% or higher blood alcohol lvl otherwise i'm going to be very dissapointed.... very disappointed"


yeah and then to top off the carressing of my leg they HAVE TO WEAR THE SHORTEST MINI SKIRTS!

like come on here, if you go to any given club in saskatoon for every hot girl that is dressed skanky there is atleast 5 that are fat ho's. it's the one time of the week these people can get out of their muumuu's and suck in their gut for 5 hours and make me hate life.

i was watching underworld with kate beckinsdale and i said to lance...

Me: "god why don't more girls wear tight leather?"

and he responded with

Lance:"do you realize how many fatties would be dressed like that then?"

Me: "oh yeah... i forgot about that... good point."

Lance" you are sometimes really stupid"

Me: "i know"

the worse case scenrio is when a girl you like is best friends with annoying overweight cow. i still haven't figured it out:

1) do you treat the person like ahuman being and occassionaly make eye contact?

2) ignore completely?

see here's what i think why hot girls befriend really fat people. it's a defence mechanism, see the actual logic behidn it is this:

"if i find a really ugly woman to be my friend any guy who is interested in me must be REALLY interested in me, because not only will he have to have the nerve to talk to me, but he'll have to do soemthing i know he'll really hate: talk to my friend.. brwahahaha... and then maybe tell him to go dance with her, i'm soooo evil"

yes you are, yes you are queen she-bitch

nothing offsets a guy's motivation than a huge fat freind, and it's more than a physical barrier it's on a much higher level.

i had a friend once who asked me

"If you had the chnace to get with the hottest woman you've ever seen but in order to do that you had to get with her ridiculously ugly and fat friend as well and have a 3some?"

"how ugly"

"hideous"

"ok that's pretty ugly dude"

"yeah it was"

"i don't think i could do it."

"yeah"

"personal experience?"

"yeah"

"heh really? did you do it?"

"I don't think so"

"well thats maybe good?"

"a few more beers and i would have done it though"

"good thing you know your limit"

"Yeah but she was smoking... i almost wish i did it"

see that girl ruined my friends life. he hasn't been the same man since.... and its all because she couldn't say yes to the stairmaster

there are so many levels to which this is frustrating,



why? why people? why must there be this evil? why doesn't bush combat this evil? i'm sure most people would agree this is a risk to the nation. i think healthy living classes should be a requiremnt in schools. i think managing your health should be mandatory.



now to be realaistic here it's fine if someone is heavy i don't have a problem with that by any means, eating healthy and working out and etc should be done no matter what kind of body size you are. but i mean typically many of these people don't even try to improve themselves. health canada has been bashign their brains over desks for years trying desperately to send the message that canada is a fat mess! and not just politically i mean it litterally, and as a proud candian i am passing on the message for health canada. because me and health canada are like this &

canada is getting fatter, soon cartoons will potrary canadians the same way the swedish are potrayed now. and i just couldn't live with that.

say yes to the stairmaster!
say no to fatties






and i'm shallow i will admit... to some degree.

i'm going to hell