Question for the brave

girl you once knew who was seriously in all forms of the matter wanting to date you, and yourself experiencing mutual feelings. you go on a couple dates, and as far as you are concerned it's a done deal and you probably don't even have to say hey would you like to go out? because it is so obvious. then suddenly she goes ona trip comes back with a boyfriend, you still pretend to be friends but the sexual frustration ends your life, and you end up 20 times more bitter and jaded than you began... exactly a year later the same girl that you met at the same bbq hangs out iwht you for most of the night and is constantly around you no matter how abrasive you are, you however, end up submiting because you are lonely and you still find her intriguing. and she is for whatever reason, once again interested in you. things didn't ewnd terribly, they just ended with youa sking many questions of what and why, but mainly why- "why am i going to die alone?" is a question that runs through my nugget skull on a regular and indigestable schedule.

i know she tried to state that she was now single and she constantly was grabbing my arm for my hand but i refused, i refused because i'm a jackass who is shrouded behind my sarcasm, which covers my insecurities and sensitivity.

anyway ended up catchign a ride with her but refused to go up, because a) i'm not a one stander and b) i'm easily destryoed, and seeing myslef more destryoed and bitter probably would kill me...

should i

A) call her within the next few days
B) let the bitch call me, to see if i can actually leave an impression well enough to outlast a mere drunken adventure?
c) choose to die alone (B and C are co-related)