Sarcasm and Cyncism = bad combo platter
Who would have thought that sarcasm mixed with cynicism was a bad combination? Like seriously where was the common sense fairy on that one? The combination of the two is like when that dude mixed bleach with floor cleaner and made mustard gas by accident and just about killed himself… who knew?
Who knew making fun of Denny’s would be a bad idea around a girl who actually works there? Worst yet she is one of the 4:00 am servers in Saskatoon. Smooth.
When someone is searching your music library and they say “I love Dashboard Confessionals” and you say “ actually my itunes hasn’t updated because i deleted all of their albums… because I hate them” isn’t really all that great of an idea either.
I think my biggest problem is I totally lack this thing that really isn’t so common, but none-the-less it is known as “ Common Sense”.
Today while working a function this 30ish year-old hot blonde cougar asks me what I’m doing after the function as I’m pouring like 80 drinks (because it was a 185 person function, which is a lot for a host tab) and anyway I say probably nothing, and she says “you should come to woody’s that’s where we are going”
I of course responded with “I’ve already decided that spending every one of my paychecks there is waste of time”
“You should come out, because that’s where we’ll be”
“Yeah”
about 20 minutes later I figured out that she was hitting on me, however, unfortunately I’m retarded.
Common sense is reserved for those people who will not die alone- sarcasm and cynicism also ensure that I will die a miserable cranky bastard who will tell girls that it wouldn’t surprise him if they were ever to be raped. And as a reminder I don’t do it out of assholism, but instead out of sheer tardation
Who knew making fun of Denny’s would be a bad idea around a girl who actually works there? Worst yet she is one of the 4:00 am servers in Saskatoon. Smooth.
When someone is searching your music library and they say “I love Dashboard Confessionals” and you say “ actually my itunes hasn’t updated because i deleted all of their albums… because I hate them” isn’t really all that great of an idea either.
I think my biggest problem is I totally lack this thing that really isn’t so common, but none-the-less it is known as “ Common Sense”.
Today while working a function this 30ish year-old hot blonde cougar asks me what I’m doing after the function as I’m pouring like 80 drinks (because it was a 185 person function, which is a lot for a host tab) and anyway I say probably nothing, and she says “you should come to woody’s that’s where we are going”
I of course responded with “I’ve already decided that spending every one of my paychecks there is waste of time”
“You should come out, because that’s where we’ll be”
“Yeah”
about 20 minutes later I figured out that she was hitting on me, however, unfortunately I’m retarded.
Common sense is reserved for those people who will not die alone- sarcasm and cynicism also ensure that I will die a miserable cranky bastard who will tell girls that it wouldn’t surprise him if they were ever to be raped. And as a reminder I don’t do it out of assholism, but instead out of sheer tardation
posted by Doc at
1:58 AM
3 Comments:
fuck bitches we don't need 'em anyway amirite dunc?
By
joe, at 3:20 PM
i actually didn't mean it like that, i just found it funny that i could be so awesome in a single night.
By
Doc, at 1:15 AM
Yea old bitches rule.
By
Clifford, at 3:49 PM
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