Would you Really Know?

I have avid faith in the idea that “things happen for a reason”, and thus I believe in an almighty omniscient being (god). And that bastard (god) has a grand plan for us all; for example when a person contracts rabies or is stabbed in the chest by a stingray or constructs the largest ball of twine they are all undeniable acts of god and he allows them with a specific plan in mind.

He allows life to happen not because he hates us all (thiough i'll admit it does seem that way) he does it so that we as individuals can develop ourselves. Pain builds character. or didn’t you know?

That kid sitting in the corner by me is mute. He cannot speak, he was born that way. God denied him the ability to speak because if he were able to speak he would also sing, almost as good as Evan. And this mute boy would have started band that would be in essence undeniably identical to the band Nickelback. God was aware of this, and stripped this kid of his vocal cords. He did it because there is a man who’s great great great grandson would discover a cure for cancer (who of course, will be one of the few people who is pro cancer, and thus choose not to divulge his antidote to the world) would kill himself if another shitty rockband would pillage his ears with another lackluster song about love or whatever it is that nickelback’s uninspired song’s are about. Above all god knew that the number of miserable people who had good taste in music would be more miserable than they had ever been before had he not accomplished this almighty feat of muting this young lad.

You may wonder why the members of Nickelback are allowed to continue unscathed, unlightening-bolted, surviving, and worst of all- producing more music. They are allowed to destroy the minds of young Canadian men and women because they, the canadian population, would be unable to define bad taste in music with a single word.

That word is Nickelback.

Has it been ever been simpler to define what bad or even terrible music is or is not? Nickelback is the solution, it is a legitimate reason not to listen to the radio, and is also a legitamate reason why one would go on a band member assassination campaign… though I will disagree with the killing of Lenin, his song “working class hero” is fucking awesome.

If you didn’t know Nickelback would you know pain?

Nobody's Perfect

Is Saskatoon too small? It is too small that you couldn’t hope for for the chance of going to a bar and not knowing atleast one person who no longer wants to know you are?

I went to Lydia’s last night with Evan to see the band Tim Vaughn (formerly known as open vintage, I love it when bands take on the names of the lead singer, it always happens when the lead singer becomes moderately big. And I always assume it’s some form of assholism it’s like saying I’m big enough right now that my shitty name can be the title of my band and I’ll still sell tickets (I assume he doesn’t sell albums- otherwise he probably wouldn’t play at Lydias every 3rd night). If I was the drummer or base guitarist in a band that isn’t even famous and the name of the band was the lead singer’s name I’d kill myself… which isn’t saying a whole lot, I’d kill myself if I had to bake cookies tonight, or watch another 20 seconds of Survivor or Canadian Idol or tv in general.

Anyway while in Lydia’s I was busy people watching and then I caught myself looking at this group of people and before I realized what I was doing I realized that Lindsay Q was looking at me and I her… I apologized to Evan but he couldn’t hear what I was saying. When she reached our table I realized that she had absolutely no interest in talking to me, not one bit. She talked to Evan the whole time, I listened to Evan spout off his rehearsed answers to her questions: Loved New Zealand, Hate Saskatoon, and the solution: getting the fuck out of dodge. After exchanging numbers and introducing Evan to her boyfriend/friend/blowup doll and giving a brief biography of Evan she was off to do whatever it is that she does. Notice that my name isn’t there any-where.

I can’t say that I’m upset by this, but this isn’t the first time this has happened nor is it the 10th, 20th or even the 30th time this has happened. No longer has one person any incline to bother with chit chat with me. Which is good, but I just find that it happened all so fast over the span of say: 20 seconds.

People I don’t even mind occasionally talking with will not acknowledge me, and these are friendly people! People who will come and talk to the guy beside me (usually Evan) and ignore my entire existence.

Once again I’ll reiterate that I’m not bitter, and instead I’m probably pretty impressed with myself. Impressed for accomplishing the feat of being no longer liked by anyone other than maybe 5 people, so as a result, I can brag forevermore as being the person who has the fewest friends on this planet- most importantly the fewest friends by more-or-less choice.

I guess for being a failure at most other things I’ve done in life, being unapproachable is working out… so is making a mean margarita.

It’s getting hard to fill in the blanks

Have no real complaints, two weeks ago I went with Evan to meet up with some friends at Athena’s, however they never got there until 11:00, which was when we were leaving to go to the sutherland (much to my dismay).

Before we left to the sutherland I had mentioned to Evan that I knew a lot of people that I don’t really know at Athena’s , and I pointed to this one guy chris who I had worked with at the co-op we looked at my direction as he was standing at the bar ordering drinks, I gave him the 2 fingered lift to acknowledge his existence, and he promptly twisted his head away from me without so much as a nod. Evan scoffed me saying “smooth” .... this coming from the guy who defines the sarcastic meaning of “smooth” with his obstinate use of cheesy pickup lines that could only possible work on the other side of this planet (which evidently is a fact). Anyway the next thing I knew the bartender was telling me that chris had bought me a drink. Chris’s tips his hat and leaves without saying a word… I still have no idea what to make of it, perhaps he had no desire to catch up on the whole “how’s life things & whatever” bullshit that no one truly gives a damn about. And if so, I salute you dear chris but a simple nod of the head would have sufficed.

Anyway I also knew the bouncer at the scuz so we didn’t have to pay cover, which was great. But I hate it there so much as soon as I had my double shots and a beer I was ready to vacate- actually that’s not entirely true.

Last year I used to play poker at this girl named Haley’s she was a pretty decent poker player and her and her sister always played along with her sister douchebag friends whenever they got kicked out of whatever bars they were at that night. They were basically by definition complete wastes of life. Tons of gell in their hair, collared shirts, chains, 30 yearsold the whole 9 yards, and they would always come play poker as a last resort because the girl they were cabbing home with that night wouldn’t sleep with them. So they came back to Haley’s sisters to bitch about how this bitch that they cabbed home with was putting on all the signs that she wanted to fuck them, but she didn’t put out in the end. – from my view of his story it seemed evident that they were rarely interested in either of them from the get go… I never minded taking their money.


Anyway I saw those guys at the scuz and knew my time there was long overdone. And so I left.


The end.

Thanks for coming out.

Question for the brave

girl you once knew who was seriously in all forms of the matter wanting to date you, and yourself experiencing mutual feelings. you go on a couple dates, and as far as you are concerned it's a done deal and you probably don't even have to say hey would you like to go out? because it is so obvious. then suddenly she goes ona trip comes back with a boyfriend, you still pretend to be friends but the sexual frustration ends your life, and you end up 20 times more bitter and jaded than you began... exactly a year later the same girl that you met at the same bbq hangs out iwht you for most of the night and is constantly around you no matter how abrasive you are, you however, end up submiting because you are lonely and you still find her intriguing. and she is for whatever reason, once again interested in you. things didn't ewnd terribly, they just ended with youa sking many questions of what and why, but mainly why- "why am i going to die alone?" is a question that runs through my nugget skull on a regular and indigestable schedule.

i know she tried to state that she was now single and she constantly was grabbing my arm for my hand but i refused, i refused because i'm a jackass who is shrouded behind my sarcasm, which covers my insecurities and sensitivity.

anyway ended up catchign a ride with her but refused to go up, because a) i'm not a one stander and b) i'm easily destryoed, and seeing myslef more destryoed and bitter probably would kill me...

should i

A) call her within the next few days
B) let the bitch call me, to see if i can actually leave an impression well enough to outlast a mere drunken adventure?
c) choose to die alone (B and C are co-related)

Back to School!!!

So today marks my return to university and it is also more or less my last year.

Overall, it’s good to be back!

I say this now, but when econometrics starts raping me in the ass all year (it’s a sixer) I may be singing another song, but right now it’s all good- but it will be even better when half the first years drop out and give me some much needed breathing space.

I’m taking psyche 110, and I regret leaving my humanities until my fourth year- especially since it’s been a long time since I’ve developed into a pretentious and condescending ass- even worse yet is that this class is filled with every first year enrolled in the university all.. 360 million of them. I suppose the only reassurance available is that the class may empty by December, but then again this is not math 110. It’s psyche 110.

There is a guy I went to highschool with who’s been working at a store for the last 3 years, and has now decided to be proactive and do something with his life. However, taking only 3 courses consisting of psyche 110, religious studies, and history isn’t really what I’d call “taking life by the horns”. But oh well… anyway. It’s weird being in a first year course especially in September when all the first years turn to each other and shoot back 100 questions including the following: where the person is from, where is it exactly he or she is living, their phone numbers, their favorite colors and all the other things that go with being giddy and 18- cause I'm eighteen I get confused every day.

A first year turned to me, me who hasn’t shaved in 4 days and looks like the typical 4th year scrub, who is notorious for being unapproachable to people he doesn’t know or wants to pretend he doesn’t know, who knows that in arts and science you don’t talk to people you don’t know unless (and this is the only condition) you just were destroyed in a final and need a loving and understanding arm to cry upon- .otherwise there is no mindless chitchat in arts classes. I felt like trying to explain all of these rules to this bitch including the “no talking policy”, but meh. Why waste the breath? she’ll figure it out eventually- like when she drops out of university.