Misery is a Butterfly
I think i prefer being miserable.
When i say that what i mean is when i get something i want i decide i no longer want and
A) Purposely mess it up
B) Realize i never wanted it
C) Subconcsiously ruin it
D) Become so ungraciously over-confident that i ruin it
It's not that i don't wish for happiness, but i instead constantly sabatoge it for myself for some reason or just choose inaction when action is so obviously the right choice.
The funny thing is, i'm totally okay with this realization.
I fell in love with my hairdresser the yesterday- she seemed to hate life (not a true hater of life, but she seemed uninterested in dealing with me, as if i was just another asshole whose hair she had to cut. she wasn't bubbly, or energetic, she was there to cut hair and not deal with idle chit chat). Ironically, i generally hate idle chit chat, but since she wasn't initiaiting it, i took ont he role- in my own way. I've never been able to talk to someone so freely as nothing i said was inappropriate or over the top because i could be as sarcastic as i wanted with no restraints and her vice versa and nothing i said was too weird for someone i met 5 minutes ago. it was refreshing. i probably will never see her again, but i realized i need more of that in my life and less french, less country, less university and more sarcastic bitch that i don't have to impress.
i'm thinking of moving on to goths, but just ones who do it because they are so sarcastic they don't fit with any other group. that is my calling in life.
when she tells me her bestfriend is getting married and i say how long do you figure until they divorce and she responds with "5 years max". then i'll know that i'm in the ballpark, more or less.
so to summarize i don't hate life, but just enjoy misery... it's too bad i'm not an artist of any sort which would power my artistic talent... and if there was a day where i wasn't miserable i could always cheat and become an absinthe alcoholic.
When i say that what i mean is when i get something i want i decide i no longer want and
A) Purposely mess it up
B) Realize i never wanted it
C) Subconcsiously ruin it
D) Become so ungraciously over-confident that i ruin it
It's not that i don't wish for happiness, but i instead constantly sabatoge it for myself for some reason or just choose inaction when action is so obviously the right choice.
The funny thing is, i'm totally okay with this realization.
I fell in love with my hairdresser the yesterday- she seemed to hate life (not a true hater of life, but she seemed uninterested in dealing with me, as if i was just another asshole whose hair she had to cut. she wasn't bubbly, or energetic, she was there to cut hair and not deal with idle chit chat). Ironically, i generally hate idle chit chat, but since she wasn't initiaiting it, i took ont he role- in my own way. I've never been able to talk to someone so freely as nothing i said was inappropriate or over the top because i could be as sarcastic as i wanted with no restraints and her vice versa and nothing i said was too weird for someone i met 5 minutes ago. it was refreshing. i probably will never see her again, but i realized i need more of that in my life and less french, less country, less university and more sarcastic bitch that i don't have to impress.
i'm thinking of moving on to goths, but just ones who do it because they are so sarcastic they don't fit with any other group. that is my calling in life.
when she tells me her bestfriend is getting married and i say how long do you figure until they divorce and she responds with "5 years max". then i'll know that i'm in the ballpark, more or less.
so to summarize i don't hate life, but just enjoy misery... it's too bad i'm not an artist of any sort which would power my artistic talent... and if there was a day where i wasn't miserable i could always cheat and become an absinthe alcoholic.
posted by Doc at
4:56 PM
3 Comments:
i feel that, i too am the same way
go for west-side ladies, totally got their hate-on for life n' shit
By
joe, at 1:13 AM
on second thought maybe don't
By
joe, at 9:34 AM
From what I've exsperienced s=with west side women is that they are almost overbubbly and annoying as a way to disguise how they feel on the inside... Which is shit because they live on the shitty west side.
By
Clifford, at 10:32 PM
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