A Toast to the Most interesting Conversation Lost

A Toast to the most interesting of conversations

We Are Missing Out on More Interesting Conversations

Note: Jay you will disagree with this post, so rather than wasting both my time reading it and your time writing it, and instead let’s just agree you and I both know exactly what your opinion will be.

Last Saturday ( my second last night in town here) Davin, Nick, and Austin (mainly Davin) insisted that I come out to “The Pat” with them. I knew exactly what I was getting myself into when I signed up to go out that night. As always-I woke up single, 40 bucks in the hole and suffering a slight headache. However, unlike 99.9% of the people who were there that night my goal was not to get laid nor grease myself and think how cool I was-instead it was meant to remind me how much I hate Saskatoon when school is out, which would perhaps rejuvenate my desire to go back to Kanaskis.

At the pat I saw a lot of people from highschool… which is embarrassing- it is embarrassing because

A) They saw me at the pat and now think I go there regularly, while in reality I go maybe twice a year, but they think I go every weekend (this information comes from Stu who thinks I’m a bar star, if there is a greater insult than being called a bar star it would have to be a “bar star” who never gets laid) …

B) Some of those people I could do without seeing, but oh well.

Anyway, before we went out Saturday night we were at Austin’s place, and his brother invited some friends, and since Tyler is a pimp, they were of course attractive women. Two of the girls were ridiculously good looking while the third was much noticeable less attractive and “heavier set” than the other two.

The third rarely spoke while the other two perpetually chatted like morons, and I tried desperately to follow the conversation and my only conclusion was that it wasn’t worth it. It wasn’t worth following because the conversation was beyond retarded; it was something about sunglasses and grad and some girl screaming for another girl to give back the girl who was telling the story her sunglasses but she was very embarrassed because the other girl made such a big scene about her sunglasses… and then they all collectively laughed.

This was one of the many stories they told us and everyone else, except the fat chick never really said anything- occasionally she added one or two lines to make sure it was known she was there breathing. But otherwise very quiet. The other two attractive ones, like I said, couldn’t shut up.

It was as if the fat chick knew that she was fat, and that guys only wanted to hear her friends talk, because guys are always more interested in her other two friends. As a result she has taken to last place quietly assuming no one wanted to hear what she had to say, but I guarantee to all of you (my readers) that the fat chick who never said anything probably had the most interesting things to say out of that entire group, but automatically assumes that no one wants to hear what she thinks.

Which is a catch 22. Because as a result she shoots herself in the foot because she offers neither intelligence nor looks and cannot set herself apart from the other two.

Instead she is the fat chick of the group that no one purposely wants to be with, when forced with a choice between the other two.

I couldn’t understand why she would purposely choose to put herself in position of being second best in comparison to her friends at the bar or anywhere. If she were to choose uglier friends she would become the star of the group, but instead she unconsciously chooses last place.

When we did go to the bar I saw it happen over and over. My hypothesis was correct.

The attractive girls would run up and chat it up with Davin or Nick while their friends would sit there distantly wondering if they will ever meet a guy who will be interested in them under different circumstances…

And by the 4th time seeing this go down in a single night at the pat, it dawned on me, something I hadn’t been paying attention to. I had been paying attention to everyone else other than myself.

I’m a fat chick.