I'm a Wierdo

I’m a weirdo

The other day my friend Brian (boss) told me that Dan the executive chef who is a 40 yearold feminine version of Cartman who sports more chins than Rita Mcneil thinks that I’m a strange dude and it wouldn’t surprise him if I one day climbed a bell tower and went to town.


Now there are lots of different types of strange there is mike, my roommate talking to himself in the bathroom strange, or drunk golfer forcing himself on a server strange (which happens all too often), or bell tower strange, and offbeat quirky strange (which I more or less imagine myself).

I definitely, however don’t fit the bell tower strange mainly because the biggest gun I’ve fired has been a .22. which means that if I were to climb a belltower with any gun it would pretty much end as one of the most comical displays of attempted homicidal behavior… ever.

But anyway with this new information I decided it would be a terrible loss to move on

The next time Dan was in his office by himself I turned to him as I was grabbing my bar float and said “Dan have you ever had one of those days where you could just kill somebody? You know what I mean? (I squinted my left eye as I said the words “You know what I mean?” and then nervously laughed and walked away.)

And then whenever I see Dan I always do the wink gun thing as creepily as possible.

Dan is now trying to get me fired.

Brwahahaha little does he know I’ll just come back with and uzi and go American Postal Service on his fat ass. (obviously he doesn’t think things through)


…I’m not crazy… am I?