Jay is Full of Shit
To say that Soccer is a talentless game that anyone could play is total drunken ignorance at it’s best.
With that said, it is a little known fact that world cup soccer players are all graduates of The New York Film Academy with degrees in dramatic acting. It is not easy to scrap your knee and make it seem like you will never use your legs ever again, but hey! these guys are professionals!
Soccer athletes spend 4-5 hours a day practicing fake crying, so are obviously better than others but all of which are professionals. Each and every of the 50 billion metrosexual soccer players on that field can cry at will, which helps them pick up other men and dish out red cards.
Sportscasters have been talking about how to eliminate New York acting (the only skill soccer players have) from the field, which would enable anybody to run back and forth on the field without being noticed.
My suggestion was if they had a sniper sitting there ready to put any of the players out of their misery it would surely cut down on the fake crying. You would finally see people take NFL style hits and brush it off like John Wayne. Problem solved.
With that said, it is a little known fact that world cup soccer players are all graduates of The New York Film Academy with degrees in dramatic acting. It is not easy to scrap your knee and make it seem like you will never use your legs ever again, but hey! these guys are professionals!
Soccer athletes spend 4-5 hours a day practicing fake crying, so are obviously better than others but all of which are professionals. Each and every of the 50 billion metrosexual soccer players on that field can cry at will, which helps them pick up other men and dish out red cards.
Sportscasters have been talking about how to eliminate New York acting (the only skill soccer players have) from the field, which would enable anybody to run back and forth on the field without being noticed.
My suggestion was if they had a sniper sitting there ready to put any of the players out of their misery it would surely cut down on the fake crying. You would finally see people take NFL style hits and brush it off like John Wayne. Problem solved.
posted by Doc at
1:52 AM
4 Comments:
we call this a piggy-back burn, we don't do this
By
joe, at 12:20 PM
The one good thing about soccer/football is if you live in the U.K. its some kind of institution there. Basically whenever somebody plays you know there is going to be fights and stabbings. We all know fights and stabbings are super cool
Dave
By
Anonymous, at 1:16 PM
dude got stabbed on whyte avenue
By
joe, at 4:42 PM
"dude got stabbed on whyte avenue" thats why I think hockey is more manly then soccer... in north america anyway. I was talking to Keeley today and she said that she actually got into soccer games(while in europe) , but thats because of the thousands of retards in the crowd who go nuts for it. Its mob mentality. If I were in britain (or any other place that calls soccer football) I'd think the game is slightly cooler, because the fans of the sport are at least 28 times more tough then the actual players. And I'd fall into the mob mentality and punch some skinny guys who like to run around alot, and get millions in endorsement deals while still taking falls and trying to be manly. Soccer is the only sport where its fans could kick the players asses in a one on one fight. The only thing I want to be a part of in soccer are riots, because in riots are badass. But your not gunna see any stabbing for "football" in north america for homo world cup. Even The Simpsons made fun of how boring soccer is. Seriously any pro soccer assholes out there wanna argue about this I'm game. The arguement will be more exciting than the game, and it'll be win win for everyone when I kick you in the nuts for not shutting the fuck up....
P.S. at first I thought you were gunna do a pro soccer choice, in which case I would have kicked your ass, but this is good. Soccer is gay.
By
Clifford, at 1:59 AM
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