Dear World, Wolfblast Yellow Label is shit.

Yes it is true all of you alleged connoisseurs of wine have little to no taste in wine, but as consolation I will say you have great taste in redwine vinegar… because Wolfblast any label is only good with food, and when I say food what I really mean is mixed into food as vinegar.

For those of us that are uninformed wolfblast yellow label is an Australian wine that has stormed media outlets, liquor stores and the homes of America with full force. I’ve said this for years, people are morons and they do whatever the general public tells them to do, and in this case it is drink shitty red wine, because everyone mindlessly and unknowingly thinks it’s good.

When I go to a restaurant the girls always order wolfblast yellow label as if it were actually consumable on it’s own. And refuse to drink or try any other kind of wine- this is brainwashing my friends, and I for one will not stand by idly watching the world consume vinegar for 18 dollars a bottle.

But everywhere I go Wolfblast is taunting my face, taunting me because it knows that I see through their corporate scheme, I see bottles of wolfblasat showcased in people’s homes, I see it when they order wine at a restaurant, I see it in the news, and I even see it in fucking online cartoons!

http://www.leasticoulddo.com/index2.php?date=20060216

At work people will come up to the bar and ask for wolfblast or ask for something close to wolf blast and my responses is always the same “ I’m sure the kitchen has some cooking wine, hold on”

People pretend to know shit about wine I hate it when I recommend one of the best low price wines we offer and people will pretend like they know what they are talking about and order the 320% marked up cheap shit over the mildly marked up one that is roughly the same price but doesn’t carry a big name and is 1000% times better.

But I mean here is me gnawing away at the most successful wine company to hit the market in years, gnawing vigorously against a cause that it so ridiculous... it’s a lost cause because after the movie sideways pinot noir sales jumped 45% for no reason other than people are easily manipulated.

Anyway, I realize that none of you(my readers) care or even drink wine, but this is just a word to the wise: if I catch you drinking wolf blast pretending like you like it, then I will be forced to stab you in the throat and forge your suicide note.

It will read as follows

“ I just realized while drinking this vinegar that I am a tool of society, and decided to end my life in this rather manly fashion of shoving a bread knife through my jugular. Oh and Duncan is the bestest.

Good bye cruel world”