i'm stuck in limbo

i have nothing to say- yet... i spent 15 minutes trying to think of something to write about, but i couldn't do it. i think my only creative moments are when i'm actually around people rather than locked up in my house.

i am super bored though, i need a substantial change in my life, such as wearing black socks rather than white ones... or something. i'm not sure what needs to change, and any help i could get from anyone or someone would be great.

how do people change themselves? i need to learn that, i've been so bored today i've been pacing my house in indecision reading a few pages from 4 different books i got for christmas, but i grow tired of them quickly because i'm not in the mood for reading, but i'm not in the mood to go out either, because if i were to go out tonight i would either see a movie, go drink, play cards or slit my wrists in the bath tub... all of the above sound equally exciting. i think what i really need is a shot of adrenaline or a shot of life, but i don't have the energy for either of them.

i really wish zombies would attack, and that would force me to change it up a little, but not really as i'm already convinced zombies have attacked and i myself are one of them.

Dreading Christmas and not because of the Grinch.

I dunno if I ever mentioned this but I hated highschool. Everything about it repulsed me. In highschool there was always this ugly cliched nature that followed me. In grade 9, I much like Corrin, listened to rap to fit in, but it was to no use we both were lost and hated ourselves later in life for the fact that we so openly lied to ourselves…

I’ve never liked rap, ever, but when I was in grade 9 it seemed alright to try to fit in. But to what end will you lie to yourself to fit in? I like old movies, I love westerns, i love 80's pop, i love bowie and flcok of seagulls, and I purposely and subconsciously love things that other people hate or despise. It may be a poor attempt at grabbing for attention- which is common among most “misunderstood” university students. when I was young I used to entertain that idea that I could be cool. And in fact I’m not cool, but I’ll stab you in the face with a soldering iron if you say otherwise…

In highschool I’ve effectively blanked out everything that happened during that time, people will ask me if I remember such and such event that happened and I will stare at them blankly… all I remember is that I had some good friends and that luciuk was my favorite teacher and only because he was able to lie and make up stories, and yet because of his ability to lie was a very influential history teacher...

Anyway my point is this, I’m not looking forward to Christmas, and not because my uncles cheer on stink-bomb from the world wrestling federation… heh (inside joke, though I’ll never give her this address). But because A) it’ll probably be a highschool reunion as it was in September and to my viewers note I probably have about 6 friends from highschool followed by about 6 sorta friends that I don’t mind associating with, but that is all she wrote. And B) because my uncles and aunts will go on about my dad’s state of health, which I can’t stand, I can’t stand when people put on those fake looks of concern, because i don’t even care about my dad’s state of health why should people who think maybe once every blue moon about my dad pretend to care? It’s garbage.

… funny thing I’d never give this address to someone i’d want to be the closest to, not because she would think I was a conservative prick from reading this, but instead because this site does not represent me other than the things I satirize… the unfortunate aspect to that is I don’t even know what I’m satirizing anymore. As I never really strictly believed in anything. I love playing the devil’s advocate, which probably explains the strong resentment I get in most of my classes…

hmmm.

am i miserable because i listen to pop music, or am i miserable and that is why i listen to pop music?

Tookie Willaims, remember that name.

"The execution of convicted murderer Stanley Williams in California on Tuesday outraged many in Europe, who regard the practice as barbaric, and feelings ran particularly high in Austria, the homeland of Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger […] who went as far as to call for Schwarzenegger to be stripped of his Austrian citizenship."(SP, a shitty newspaper, but I have no choice)

3 days.

People are pissed at Arnold Schwarzenegger, and I don’t know why.

The outrage that Tookie Williams has generated over his execution in California is absolutely side splitting ridiculous. There is no reason for this spectacle to be broadcasted in the news for the last 3 days. 3 DAYS! I don’t know what people were expecting to happen or what was to be done about the whole execution of Stanley Williams, because I mean after-all "The Governator" is doing exactly what he said he would do in his election campaign: Governating California
Terminator style!

All throughout Arnie’s campaign he had desperately portrayed himself as no standard "girlie man", instead he’s a man who kicks ass and gets things done, and it worked for Bush, so why can’t it work for Conan?

Arnold is the man! He’s a man’s man! He was Conan the bloody Barbarian! He shoots miniguns and shit! That’s the man that should be running my state! He knows how to serve justice at the muzzle of a gun!

And to Arnold’s credit he has done everything he said he would do, California was in post Trudeau style debt, and Arnold said he would rescue California from that debt: so to accomplish this he cut program after program, including schools for the mentally handicapped and etc… but he's made a pretty substantial impact ont he debt. Arnold also said he would not tolerate crime and would take a tough stance on crime- people cheered when he said that, and now when he follows through with everything he has said he would do he receives harsh public resentment… interestingly enough…


The people got what they paid for, a man with little tact but gets things done- Terminator style! I mean isn’t that what they wanted a no bull-shit governor? Whne they voted for governor’s what do you think people were thinking when they were circling that little dot by arnie’s name? They weren’t circling some nobody democrat stiff. No! they circled the guy who was made famous in our pop-culture by kicking ass!




And that’s what they got, so Vienna, Europe and everyone outside of California Shut the Fuck up about Arnold! He’s doing what he said he would do! The people knew what they were voting for, and they got what they voted for, so don’t blame Arnie blame democracy and the morons who reside in California.

In 3 more days everyone will forget the name of Tookie Williams, and all this pent up passion will slowly subside into a faint memory. But Arnie will be immortalized for being a bastard, which he may be, but at least he doesn’t make exceptions and back away from his word. cold clean and no tact! beauty







author's note

arnie may or may not back away from his word, but i haven't witnessed anything that he has.





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Malcolm was right nature will find a way...

Well this is in response to Sean’s statement, and I’m here to answer his question about women.

Women and all their little quirks are a response to overpopulation in the world today. Call it "Chaos Theory" call it "Darwinism" call it whatever you like to make yourself sleep better at night, but today’s solution to overpopulation is the advancement of the female psyche. And this female psyche is meant to make men wish for a shotgun to the face rather than deal with just about any girl and their problems. Just about. The whole two hormone thing is merely god trying to fight the system, because back in the day when the world wasn’t so populated I truly believed cavemen bashed women over the head and slept with them no repercussions, no stories about buying shoes, or listening to which girl called your girl a slut that evening or notta. Just plain sex no strings attached. And while environmentalists are banging their faces against trees trying to figure out how nature could possibly let such overpopulation happen, they miss the simple point that nature has in fact found a way. And the three signs of overpopulation are homosexuality, increased estrogen in women, and cannibalism it is no wonder that the world will soon desist in population increase. And in fact it is obvious to anyone who has tried to talk to "almost" any girl in North America. It’s tough.

Sexually frustrated men of all ages ponder that whole "women, sex, heartbreak relationship" over the "shotgun, face, toe relationship" for hours wondering which would be in fact the least painless of relationships. The answer is not clear, but I’m assuming the shotgun face theory will increase in numbers as we progress into the 21st century; and thus in someway prevent the increase of overpopulation with nature’s way: Women.

… well I say all this in hoping I don’t in fact jinx myself, because that would just suck…