I've hit the wall

it's nott hat i haven't been trying to write lately, instead the reason is that i feel oddly uninspired, and infact i've got nothing on me.

i've become cliche

not saying that i was ever orginal, but it is becoming moreso apparent in my old age. i'm getting to the point where i am so bitter and jaded that i don't even expect anything from life... it's not that i'm depressed or sad it's just i'm so utterly indifferent to anything tat all at this point, and i have merely accepted that people are morons and no amount of bitching will ever change that.

i went to yet another terrible party last night, it was cockfest 2005 and no one was dressed up for halloween, i knew this would be the case and expected nothing from this alleged party i embarked upon. but i mean obviously it was going to be shitty i didn't even have alcohol until i got home, and i made a cosmopolitan out of freshly made cranberry juice, and i tried writing about this or my last few days, but nothing happened...

another thought as to why i've been indifferent as i've been drinkign much more frequently, and alcohol makes me do many things like become much more indifferent to the company that is around me, and thus i'm at an even greater level of indifferency than normal, and thus even less inspired to write.

painters and even writers often say that their misery is the sorce of their artistic talent, and if they did not have their misery their artwork would simutaneously suffer witht he lack of misery. but what happens when they get to the point where they don't even care they don't even have a passion for death or life, hate or love, they just don't care? is that when vangough goes on a huge absinth drinking binge and cuts off his ear? quite possibly.

i tried many times writing about how it's funny that all my best friends hated me or i hated the at one point in time, joel you're no exception as i found out wednesday whichw as hilarious. but while wiriting it i counted the word hated or some variation of hate 87 times in 400 words, that's rediculous. so i scrapped it.

i need a kick in the head, or something...

no i wasn't trying to hit on her- it was just the fact that i had somebody to stand with, and to belong to at the bar, and when i say that i mean there's nothing worse than being at a place like that alone- other than getting kicked out the long branch of course...

second of all two guys trying to fight justifies that action.

third of all did i have that much to drink... i'm surprised that i wrote that post coherently... but by that time i had already walked hom from the place in question...

fourth why did that guy and his friend have to try and be a bully? or in the other possibility be that stupid. obviously i struck a chord with the guy, and could have easily tlaked my way out of it, but i mean i honestly didn't think they'd do anything about it. so... there's my justifications they may not be really justified but theres lots of things i do like that.

and i deleted the post as i wasn't really all that proud of my night after i sobered up.

Heh

i used to think i was special, and that i had all the answers but evidently this is not the case, is tumbled upoun this website that had something too awesomely true not to share with all of you, my readers.... yes all 6 of you.

http://jeffknows.com/index.php?dating101

Dodging Bullets and Assholism 101

Dodging bullets and Assholism 101

Soo… last night I dodged the epitome of bullets, out of the many types of social bullets that one can be taken down by I dodged one of the nastiest: the legendary third wheel.

Frick I don’t know a person on this earth who can withstand a hit by the third wheel… and if they are okay with being a third wheel they have serious problems.

Anyway, so earlier this week this girl asked me if I wanted to go to the drag-queen thing with her and her girlfriend at louis on Saturday- a girl that previously I had been interested in… and then things suddenly became complicated and now she’s dating some guy from some place somewhere, but we still hang out.

Anyway earlier in the week I agreed, and then last night before I was leaving to her house she said:

"when you get here we’ll pre-drink and then walk to louis from here"

no indication that "we’ll" was implying me her and her boyfriend. No indication whatsoever.


Right before I’m about to leave by some fluke or off-chance that god has love for me somehow charyce phones me and decides to come out with us.



That my friends is a matrix style dodging of a bullet, with the whole slow motion flailing of the arms.



Because these two on the whole way they were hand in hand giggling to Louis. Which brings me to my next point:


It’s fun being a jackass, it’s even funnier when you meet someone and for the first time and they get nothing but subtle hostility…. For no reason.

eg: of being your run of the mill jackass:

We are walking over the university bridge and the guy says

Dude: "I kinda wanna jump just to see what would happen"

Me: "you know you should do it! You know I’d actually pay really good money for you to do it, how about what 80 bucks?"

As I fist through my wallet

Dude: I dunno if I could deal with the hypothermia though

Me: you look tough I’m sure you could take it

Dude: I’m pretty sure it doesn’t matter how tough you are when it comes to hypothermia

Me: fine don’t do it, but john wayne would have done it.

And actually I was pretty much like that the whole way with many other examples of lesser amusement, I’m sure he might have been a nice guy, but it’s too bad it was me who was there, and I still resort to childish jealousy and snide comments.


Mind you had I been the third wheel walking all the way to louis, it would have been me climbing over and into the South Saskatchewan river- for no money.

It turned out to be a good night overall, but shit i can't believe she just about did that to me... taking someone unknowingly out anywhere as a third wheel just reaffirms any thoughts that person had about suicide.

end of story

Your favorite Song Sucks

Your favorite Song Sucks


So… I was just on the road with a girl for 16 hours… and I discovered something: don’t go on road trips with people who have shitty taste in music. It’s that simple really, as it was an agonizing 16 hours, I was tempted to bail the car and take my chances at 130 km/h but then I realized I’d be stuck in the middle of rural Saskatchewan... which would be almost as bad as listening to another hit by black eyed peas. Fuck let’s eliminate the variables in this equation I could deal with the roadrash, the internal bleeding, and the large chance of death; the real predicament I was faced with was: taking my chances in rural Saskatchewan or dealing with Kyla’s shitty taste in music…. And if we put a shotgun in the equation it would be obvious which of the three I would choose.

Some might say I’m being overly dramatic, but I’m sorry there is a place and time for a Rob Thomas cd, and that place is the trash and the timeframe is infinite- infinite like the amount of suckage that defines Rob Thomas.

Seriously rob thomas is brutal, it's like beating a dead horse to continue any further…

But interestingly enough, after hours of me threatening to bleed myself all over kyla’s 2003 civic she finally gave in and let me put in my own cd- which she thought was absolutely terrible… and here is the problem.

This is a severe problem. Someone who thinks metric, modest mouse and franz ferdinand sucks, but black eyed peas is awesome has serious issues. This issue is of course a major problem in our society, because these people do not acknowledge that there is a problem. This is the equivalent of a mass murderer hating Hitler, but finding nothing wrong with killing babies… it’s just something absolutely ridiculous. And if they don’t admit they have a problem the healing cannot begin.

But she hated my music- every single cd.

And I mean I’m a reasonable guy, I can understand where she is coming from: metric for example is nothing more than the epitome of indie rock; it consists of "fighting the system" in grunge rock way, which is now such a popular motif in music that it is actually cliché. And franz ferdinand is nothing more than hating women because they rejected them… occasionally they do more than that but the main theme remains: rejection or hate. But they are never about love; they are about rejection- Something that "actually" exists in the world.
Well… At least it’s not about bumping till you bumpdity bump.

So I’ve decided that people who do not like my taste in music, and have their own individual preferences…. Obviously have shitty taste in music.

I hate being in a car with someone whose cd is paralleled by C95. Fuck why bother wasting the 1.25 it cost you to burn that cd and turn on the radio you dumb shit? It’d save you the 3 hours of downloading the music and then figuring out how to operate your cd burner.

7 reasons why I hate the world


1.Theory of a Deadman
2.Nickelback
3.Black Eyed Peas
4.Usher
5.Phil Collins
6.Gwen Stephani
7.Brown Divinity

Le Fin

Sooo..

do i have any friends that play risk and are free this wednesday?

drunken rambling

tonight was amsuing at bailey's, where this fucking guy who looked kinda like evan arnt but was fucking ugly and had a huge gap between his teeth, and a complete moron, tried super hard to get with this chick laney. he kept on buying her shots and drinks and yet she obviously liked him as a person, but it was obvious she was not interested in him. laney also had a fat friend, and we all know the fat friend, we've all met the fat friend. the one that must scour the bar to look for her hot friend, her hot friend who ensures that the fatty receives some attention from guys hitting on the hottie...

pathetic

if i was a fat bitch i still wouldn't submit to that...


You know it's interesting how realtionships work, where someone can genuinely like you a rediculous amount, and yet still date some dead beat moron. it's overylly frustarting but there is not a thing you can do about it.

you can't help who you like anymore than you can help who likes you. sometimes you click with someone and sometimes you don't.... and sometimes she falls for the same losers that are renowned as losers, but once again it is me against jesus, and jesus is a fucking asshole. in these instances's i don't mind being an alcoholic, because atleast you can pretend that you don't care about anything... and still be miserable while blaming it on the alcohol.

Guys do get upset because some girl didn't go for their friend who is "such a nice guy", and anytime some guy gets upset because some girl won't go for his best freind who is such "a nice guy" is generally a loser like his friend, and will never unsderstand that there is some things beyond being a nice guy. there are millions of nice people in the world, and so what? there could be 3 billion nice people in the world but there is only a handful of truly interesting people out there. i've always said that and have always believed in it.

for those that are wondering i have awesome freinds (dean) who picks me and and my drunken friends from the bar, and this is on 3.25 bombay night!!! 3.25 bombay mmmmm.... i love bombay gin. i'm so drunk and it is 4:23 fuck