Masturbation or Priesthood, decisions

so... last post i made i was so hammered that i actually passed out directly after writing that... on the keyboard... i'm surprised it is somewhat coherent, well that's assuming any of these posts are "truly" coherent. Anyway i thought i might build upon a topic sean brought forward.

which is masturbation.

and when i say masturbation what i really mean is the plutonic guy and girl friendships that want to move "forward".

and the solution to this situation is simple:

choose masturbation

and you'll have chosen wisely

guys who take the friend approach to dating a girl will always get fucked over, because:

A) You've established a friendship that you don't want to ruin
B) you no longer give a sexual vibe, or atleast at the minimum, a sensual vibe. instead you give the "hi i'm sharon's gay friend" vibe.
C) You're a guy and thus so being a guy you almost 95% of the time have to make the first move, because in a society "fighting for equal rights" it still usually falls on the guy who must be assertive and take control of the situation.
D) you've fallen into the situation where you rationalize with yourself "if i don't go for it i'll hate myself" or "if i do it and things become awkward i'll definitely hate myself", and thus you're fucked. so just make it easy on yourselfmy friends and become a priest or atleast don't take the friend approach, motherfuckers.

or if you are anything like me, who makes a better first impression than lasting you will rely on the second a approach

"hey bitch you and me's are meant's to be fucking"

that approach generally works out better for me, because the reason you two are talking is already established: you both are interested in eachother, and there's none of that other bullshit.

... actually this is almost a completely a "win win" situation until she gets to know the real person that is you... or vice versa and one or both of you realize that neither one could pretend to be friends or spend 5 minutes with the person, because both of your personalities clash so bad. and thus you lose... so let's see what our other option is besides masturbation, ah yes priesthood.

advantages to Priesthood

-"Guarnteed" to go to heaven
-doesn't matter how often you fuck up you can always repent... which is nice
-if you are white you have an increased possibility of becoming the pope... main advantage of becoming the pope is that you get to ride around in the famed pope-mobile.
-being a hypocrit comes with the territory... same goes for scandals and politics... or i mean vice versa
-i'm pretty sure if you can still follow through with masturbation even as a priest, no one has to know.... and besides you can always repent.

but most importantly no women and no pre-dating bullshit... which is the main reason people a life of celebacy.

the end