Never Stop and Think

So today marks the beginning of second semester of my second year of university, and i have come to one conclusion: university is the breeding grounds of bad facial hair. And when i say bad i mean terrible and when i say terrible i mean i want to hack away at your face with a chainsaw to cleanse the bad grooming.

Now i am completely supportive of growing facial hair it's sweet. I am all for not giving a shit and letting whatever happens, happens… but when people start styling it, that’s when I run into huge problems. Growing a goatee is perfectly cool even if doesn't quite fill out but is close enough, however with that said I know there is going to be some dipshit who will decide to grow a neckbeard or a sancho-stache for no reason. Like Jay Gall’s was funny because his opening line when he spoke to anyone was “I know my teenstache is disgusting but I was wondering how was your day?” which is badass. But there is a guy that I always see waiting for the bus at the same time I do, and he’s been growing this Teenstache since like September and it still hasn’t filled out. It’s disgusting. I want to be like “dude no don’t do it you’ve still got so much ahead of you don’t through ti all away!”

(he catches the broadway one, you know the one which all the weirdo’s get on … just kidding, please don’t kill me)

Anyway I’ve mentioned this to people already but there is this guy who was in my intro to business class who had the ugliest neckbeard I have ever seen, ever. And I know neckbeards, I know wade. Hah, sorry man. Anyway, this guy he had been growing it since early October and it continued right up into finals… I doubt he’s shaven the monkey growing under his chin yet, but there’s a possibility his grandma came at him with a pair of sheep shears during Christmas. I just can’t understand the fashion statement he’s trying to make here; see I thought it was a joke until it continued for the rest of the semester, and it never got better, in fact it got worse, he grew his sideburns to connect them to his neck beard, the rest of his face is clean shaven. CLEAN SHAVEN! WHY!?

I don’t know. Perhaps he’s advertising the fact that he has no need to attempt to attract women, or because he thinks he looks hot with his unethical grooming techniques. No matter the case he looks like a wannabe wookie. To help my Commerce and Bus friend out I’ve decided to create a diagram to explain traditional grooming techniques.



Here



To finish my semi-rant I’ve decided to leave you all with a powerful and meaningful quote:

“Yeah, but you were so preoccupied with whether or not you could, you didn't stop to think if you should.” Dr Ian Malcom

I rest my case.