235 Bitchy French People vs 1 Masochistic Bartender

The one thing that irritates me working as a bartender is that I’m not a fan of working until 4:00 am with a bunch of French/drunk people; it just isn’t what I’d call my favorite way to spend a Saturday night.

My favorite way of spending a Saturday night it bartending until 4:00 am with no French people, or even better no people at all, while watching Battlestar Galactica or this new series entitled Dexter-which is on tonight.

Anyway, I was working some French Saskatchewan convention last night, and to further their stereotype the French displayed their ever evident arrogance.

This is a semi-annual award/dinner/convention where the French population of Saskatchewan can party speaking French. Except their bartender wasn’t French, he gave no signs that he understood a word in French and yet everyone felt the need to order their drinks in French. Fuck you guys.

Occasionally they’d look at me like an idiot when I once in a while got their drinks wrong because I couldn’t decipher all of their French.

My favorite is when people complain about prices- like what am I going to do? After work go up to my boss who has absolutely no control over her life let alone control over drink prices and say “yeah some old French guy with bad teeth was complaining about the prices of our cheap house wine, it’s not that he didn’t like the wine, he just had bad teeth; so you think we could lower drink prices?” ?

Anyway there were French music awards and lots of singing and songs, ironically everyone there sang songs celebrating Saskatchewan. I was actually expecting them to sing Viva le Quebec day or something like that. But instead, they were all proud of living in Saskatchewan, even when they were drunk at 2:00 in the morning, the one guy with the guitar and the other guy with two forks playing them like spoons (he was actually damn good with those forks) were signing songs about Saskatchewan.

I thought this was really weird. I always imagined that these people who regularly and publicly display their spite for life, would have genuine hate for Saskatchewan just because it’s an all English province.

But, I’ve come to this conclusion:

French people are very loyal on a provincial level, and are treasonous bastards on a national level.

This translates back to the medieval France, which out of the other Western European countries took the longest to be recognized as a single country under one king. –And even then, king’s found it difficult gathering support from their very independent provinces. King’s found this independence among their people difficult up to and including the day the French public started the trend of guillotining kings and cake pushers.

So in conclusion I’ve decided that the French aren’t supporting Quebec because it has a large French population that was conquered by the British and given more standing than any western province. But instead they want to separate, because there are a lot of French people in an area and are only capable of strong provincial loyalty with no room in their shallow hearts for anything on a grander more meaningful metric scale.

P.S. hopefully the 3 people who read this and the 3 anonymous people who read this won’t chastise me for my generalization of an entire population of people whose only commonality is the French language… but I mean I’m still right. And I still like French women, it has something to do in how they pronounce the “whu” sound with their lips when they talk-even in English… and I like the overall abrasive bitch attitude... I just about died laughing with the amount of bitch this one girl gave me after I id’d her. She was the same age as me, but man, she was gonna eat my face for iding her, and not in a sexy kind of French eating of the face.