Fuck the World
As a general rule I usually try to stray away from iterating my actual feelings, or depressing mood swings, as I find it cliché and in most ways boring. Oh woe is me and etc.. and this is a rule I usually follow when it comes to updating this website… today is an exception, and in many ways warranted, and for many other reasons not warranted at all. But fuck it anyway.
Fact:
God is in fact smiting me. It is now confirmed.
The only problem is that god is a pussy and toys with me and all other pathetic beings on earth, teasing them before making the final blow. If god were to be personified he’d be a redheaded 10 year-old with scissors and magnifying glass: able enough to cut the legs off the insect and scold it’s skin with a magnifying glass, but incapable of finishing the fucking job; leaving a bitter, decrepit, insignificant insect to carry on with its meaningless existence.
Fuck you redheaded god, fuck you very much.
And life, is in fact meaningless, and at any time you think you have changed as an individual, and have grown into a better, more assertive and happier person than you ever were before, you are hit with that reminder that you are in fact nothing more than an insect waiting for certain death.
What happens in after death? As much as I would love to believe in heaven where I spend eternity playing cards and reading Mark Twain, I doubt it. I presume darkness. Or perhaps nothing at all- not even darkness.
The other day in the library I observed a ladybug crawl up along the wall, and when it reached the roof it continued on scaling the ceiling of the 6th floor of the library. Now my thought was this:
“Why? Why is the ladybug crawling up the wall? Why is it scaling the roof? What is its overall objective? There is no food up there, there are no other ladybugs, there is no exit, and in fact there is nothing up there, in fact it was a wasted 15 minutes.
Then I thought: Is this insect even aware of what it’s doing? Is it aware that it is a lost cause? Probably not. But the bug still drones on knowing that: this is what needs to be done, I need to be doing something moving, struggling, exploring, pushing the limits, but then it dies, and we realize that this bug never really accomplished anything at all, and god just didn’t have the heart to break it down to the insignificant fool.
I think the same thing when I watch people on the streets, or in the halls of university, I often wonder: are they aware that what they are doing has no end? (or what I really mean no purpose, because obviously death is the end) 120 years from now if we haven’t been all blown away or learned that there is no meaning to life and thus to not even bother, the same people will be walking the same halls and avenues still not aware that there is no point.
People who think there is a meaning to life either haven’t thought about it closely, or are incapable of looking at a problem objectively.
We’ve found a way to change men to women, to end millions of lives in an instant even billions, and yet with all this knowledge the reason for which why I go to school, pursue the opposite sex, buy cars, read newspapers, books, and watch movies remains elusive.
And in fact it isn’t elusive it is really quite simple; so simple in fact that it is economic, if the reason I do the listed above can be broken down into a simple economic equation there is obviously a fucking problem.
But I guess, it doesn’t fucking matter. A few days from now I’ll go back to normal, pursuing the same fucking things that burn me, and I’ll continue to believe that life as we know it- sucks.
Now I say all this and am yet, going to dinner with two beautiful, intelligent girls in a couple of hours… and yet could not be more miserable. Heh.
Well I guess I’ll hit the bottle and put my fucking game face on.
Fact:
God is in fact smiting me. It is now confirmed.
The only problem is that god is a pussy and toys with me and all other pathetic beings on earth, teasing them before making the final blow. If god were to be personified he’d be a redheaded 10 year-old with scissors and magnifying glass: able enough to cut the legs off the insect and scold it’s skin with a magnifying glass, but incapable of finishing the fucking job; leaving a bitter, decrepit, insignificant insect to carry on with its meaningless existence.
Fuck you redheaded god, fuck you very much.
And life, is in fact meaningless, and at any time you think you have changed as an individual, and have grown into a better, more assertive and happier person than you ever were before, you are hit with that reminder that you are in fact nothing more than an insect waiting for certain death.
What happens in after death? As much as I would love to believe in heaven where I spend eternity playing cards and reading Mark Twain, I doubt it. I presume darkness. Or perhaps nothing at all- not even darkness.
The other day in the library I observed a ladybug crawl up along the wall, and when it reached the roof it continued on scaling the ceiling of the 6th floor of the library. Now my thought was this:
“Why? Why is the ladybug crawling up the wall? Why is it scaling the roof? What is its overall objective? There is no food up there, there are no other ladybugs, there is no exit, and in fact there is nothing up there, in fact it was a wasted 15 minutes.
Then I thought: Is this insect even aware of what it’s doing? Is it aware that it is a lost cause? Probably not. But the bug still drones on knowing that: this is what needs to be done, I need to be doing something moving, struggling, exploring, pushing the limits, but then it dies, and we realize that this bug never really accomplished anything at all, and god just didn’t have the heart to break it down to the insignificant fool.
I think the same thing when I watch people on the streets, or in the halls of university, I often wonder: are they aware that what they are doing has no end? (or what I really mean no purpose, because obviously death is the end) 120 years from now if we haven’t been all blown away or learned that there is no meaning to life and thus to not even bother, the same people will be walking the same halls and avenues still not aware that there is no point.
People who think there is a meaning to life either haven’t thought about it closely, or are incapable of looking at a problem objectively.
We’ve found a way to change men to women, to end millions of lives in an instant even billions, and yet with all this knowledge the reason for which why I go to school, pursue the opposite sex, buy cars, read newspapers, books, and watch movies remains elusive.
And in fact it isn’t elusive it is really quite simple; so simple in fact that it is economic, if the reason I do the listed above can be broken down into a simple economic equation there is obviously a fucking problem.
But I guess, it doesn’t fucking matter. A few days from now I’ll go back to normal, pursuing the same fucking things that burn me, and I’ll continue to believe that life as we know it- sucks.
Now I say all this and am yet, going to dinner with two beautiful, intelligent girls in a couple of hours… and yet could not be more miserable. Heh.
Well I guess I’ll hit the bottle and put my fucking game face on.
posted by Doc at
2:46 PM
2 Comments:
lets get fuckin' smashed this weekend
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!@!@!
By
joe, at 3:21 PM
Well the way that i look at it is that i go to school to do something that i like for a living plus will make me money.
1) because doing what you like for a living = happy
2) money alows me to by kool video games, cars, gadgets, ect which too make me happy.
I do beleive that life is there to live it. I take it simply one day at a time and dont try to get all caught up in the bullshit that surrounds it, basically keeping it simple.
P.S. if this world makes it another 80 years i will definately have to give our politicans a wrinkled thumbs up, that is if im still kickin
LDUB
By
Anonymous, at 3:35 PM
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