Not funny today, but a rant nonetheless

I’m at a loss people. I no longer have the answers. I never did but that’s why I call upon you people for help, for a solution that I have overlooked. I don’t know what to do with all of the people I hate anymore.

Now I know this could sound hypocritical as I am a second year student, but I’m because I don’t claim to know anything in real life.

There’s this douche in one of my classes and he knew a girl I knew from last semester so we’d sit beside her, but now she dropped but he still purposely sits beside me since she has dropped. And I didn’t mind it until he found out I’m majoring in economics, and then I decided I wanted him to die.

See the thing is, he’s a first year, and many first and second year students are convinced they know shit about fuck. But the fact is this: they know shit all and nothing more.

First and Second year students try to explain to me why I act the way I do because they got a “95% in psychology 110” and thus know everything about the human mind that will ever need to be known.

However my favorite example is kyle, the douche that sits beside me in my class.

Kyle: “you’re majoring in economics!?”

Me: yeah

Kyle: why? Economics is soooo pointless

Me: well yeah I don’t disagree

Kyle: no see the government is so dumb see they could solve the country’s problems with just a few simple steps. But they refuse to do it, and it would be sooo easy

(okay I’m laughing on the inside and I’m curious as to what the government has been missing for hundreds of years but all mighty kyle has figured it out)

Me: uhhh okay what is so simple?

Kyle: you mean you don’t know?

Me: no

Kyle: well if the government just got rid of the bank of Canada and had it so that they completely controlled the money supply and printed money for loans you would get rid of unemployment, and our dollar would be on par with the American dollar, the economy would never go into a recession and world peace would be brought about all in this single stroke.

(okay I added the world peace part, but he honestly said that)

Me: uhh no it’s not that simple

Kyle: well it’s okay you just don’t know because your books probably don’t talk about it. I don’t know why they don’t just do it though.

Me: no dude okay listen what you just said, was the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. Okay? There’s no way its that simple

Kyle: you are not listening to me because it IS! That simple. The governemnt just lends out money to whoever and just prints it off and they clear the debt with allt he interest they gather and then when people repay their loans the economy will balance itself out. The government just can’t overprint the money is all.

Me: dude I’m not sure I want to get into an argument with you because you really know nothing.

Kyle: you can go on any website and they will tell you that its that easy to fix. The government just has to control the bank completely.

Me: okay here’s the thing in the 1800’s the British Government had just finished a series of wars with napoleon and the government controlled the bank as in your plan. And then the government over issued money and when people came to redeem this money into gold. The bank couldn’t make payment because it over issued bank notes or money and created a colossal economic crash. This happened because the government just printed off as much money as it needed for wars against the French and etc… and the economy crashed ridiculously bad.

Kyle: well they just over printed money

Me: yeah okay you know better than the hundreds of economists that work for the government and who have actually TAKEN an economics course or two. Jesus why aren’t you writing a book?

(in all seriousness as sarcasm would be much too advanced for this boy genius)

Kyle: I might actually


Question: what do you do with people like this?

See I don’t know but I fucking hate this kid. And there is lots of people that think they know shit about their given field. They know fuck, especially in something as complicated as economics.

There are these first year students that will analyze my relationship between myself and my brother and then defend it because they took psych 110. You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.

If I analyze someone’s relationship with someone else it would be coming out of my ass. which it does. Sometimes I’m right many times I’m not, but it’s not because i go to fucking university that I know anything.

JUST BECAUSE YOU GO TO UNIVERSITY DOES NOT MEAN YOU ARE ANY SMARTER FUNNIER OR MORE SUCCESSFUL THAN THE NEXT GUY SO GET OVER YOURSELF.




My favorite example did not actually happen to me, but it happened to kyle2 and he framed it so perfectly I had to laugh.

(note kyle2 = kyle kitzul and not dipshit I know everything about the world kyle.)

Kyle2 saw a girl he used to kinda date about a year ago. And he asked her what she’s doing now

Danica: oh I’m going to university it’s great actually I’m just learning so much. I’m going into commerce to become a big successful business woman etc…

Kyle2: oh yeah that’s totally cool

Danica: what are you doing?

Kyle2: oh you know I’m just working at costco and etc…

Danica: oh….well I’ve gotta go…

And completely shuts down kyle, because he’s not going to school. Hah!

This year kyle saw danica at futureshop and asked her what she’s doing

Danica: oh I dropped out of school and now I don’t know what I want to do you know? I dunno we’ll just see.

hilarious